The act of revising

I chose my essay on Identity Vs. Personal choice to show my ability to revise. This was the first essay I had written for the class and I managed to look over many standard guidelines in basic writing. I was able to go through this essay and put those rules into place, as well as work on the flow and content of the essay. There are some things which I kept, such as my opposing argument, which the teachers didn't seem to agree with. I had written the about there being characteristics which people are born into which do uncontrollably effect their identity. What I did do, however, was shape the essay to reflect that I was only stating this to show what can be argued against my essay, and why it is an invalid argument. I feel that when your essay is supposed to show a point, its best to point out what others might see as the hole in the argument, and prove its faults. I, as the author, wanted this to be included, but I took the feedback which I was given to make its place in the essay more acceptable and my point with it more realized.